


Flowers in the Flight Deck

by orphan_account



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Developing Relationship, Flowers, Fluffy, Humour, M/M, Script Format, everyone underestimates Arthur, mentions of Carolyn/Herc, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2013-08-08
Packaged: 2017-12-22 19:36:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/917250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Douglas is not smuggling, Martin is not quick on the uptake, and Arthur is not as clueless as everyone thinks. Ie, Douglas needs inspiration on how to propose, and where better to look than a twinkly helter-skelter?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flowers in the Flight Deck

DOUGLAS: [humming to himself]

[phone rings]

MARTIN: [tinny] Douglas?

DOUGLAS: My Captain!

MARTIN: Are you alright?

DOUGLAS: Never better. Why do you ask?

MARTIN: It’s just I woke up and you weren't there. That’s all. Are you at the airfield already?

DOUGLAS: Yes, I had to come in early. I left you a note in the fridge. Didn't you see it?

MARTIN: Oh! No, I must have… overlooked… it.

DOUGLAS: Martin. It’s been nine months. You _are_ allowed to make breakfast when I’m not there.

MARTIN: [sigh] I know that.

DOUGLAS: [affectionately] Relax. I was only teasing. You are only allowed to open the refrigerator in our house if I am standing right behind you monitoring you.

MARTIN: Ha ha. That’s why I was phoning, actually – not concerned about you in the slightest, just wanted your permission to get out the milk.

DOUGLAS: Permission granted, Captain. But don’t take too long. I want you at the airfield.

MARTIN: Oh? Why? The flight’s not for an hour yet.

DOUGLAS: [smugly] No reason.

MARTIN: [suspicious] Douglas…

DOUGLAS: No reason! I’m merely pining for your radiant company.

MARTIN: Right. Well, I’ll see you in a bit then. Love you.

DOUGLAS: Correct on both counts. I shall see you soon, dearest.

[click of phone hanging up]

*

[flight deck door opens]

ARTHUR: Morning, Douglas! You’re early!

DOUGLAS: Arthur! [hurried rustling noises] Yes, I am. Why are you here?

ARTHUR: Oh, I always get here early!

DOUGLAS: Really? Why?

ARTHUR: Oh, I don’t know… there’s just something nice about the plane when nobody’s around, isn't there? It’s all mysterious and quiet. And when you guys aren't here, then I really feel like I OWN the plane! Like it’s my own little kingdom! You know?

DOUGLAS: I – no.

ARTHUR: You know?!

DOUGLAS: No, I don’t know.

ARTHUR: No you don’t full stop NO or no, you don’t know-with-a-k?

DOUGLAS: They mean the same thing!

ARTHUR: Oh yeah. I’d still quite like to know which one you meant though. Haha, know-with-a-k which one you meant.

DOUGLAS: _No opposite of yes _, I do not _know with a k _. Alright?____

ARTHUR: Yeah. Gosh, it’s confusing, isn't it?

DOUGLAS: No.

ARTHUR: Ooh, which kind of ‘no’?!

DOUGLAS: Oh, for the love of – never mind, Arthur.

ARTHUR: Oh! I've had a brilliant idea! You know how one of the ‘no’s is spelled with a ‘K’?

DOUGLAS: Yes, though I’m not sure _you_ do.

ARTHUR: Why don’t people just SAY the K? Then everyone would know what everyone else was talking about!

DOUGLAS: You want me to _say_ the _K_?

ARTHUR: Yeah!

DOUGLAS: No way, José.

ARTHUR: Oh, come on, Douglas! It’s a good idea really!

DOUGLAS: No. It isn't.

ARTHUR: Aha! See, I now kkkkkkkkkkkk[frenzied hissing]know which one you meant! Because you didn't say ‘kkkkknow’, you just said ‘no’, which means ‘no’!

CAROLYN: [outside] Arthur, what on earth are you doing in the flight deck? It sounds like a drunken kettle.

ARTHUR: Nothing! Just working something out!

[flight deck door opens and shuts]

CAROLYN: Good lord. Douglas Richardson is early to the airfield? Is the apocalypse upon us?

DOUGLAS: Oh, Carolyn, didn't you _kkkkkknow_? The Arthur School of Education was holding a seminar on phonetics. I just thought I’d pop along.

CAROLYN: Don’t get flippant. It’s too early. Why are you here?

DOUGLAS: Well, I _was_ under the impression that you wanted me to fly a plane today. Of course, if you don’t want me, I’d be more than happy to leave.

CAROLYN: Ha ha. And what have you done with Martin?

DOUGLAS: Last I heard, he was having a face-off with a refrigerator.

CAROLYN: Well, so long as he’s here on time, I don’t care enough to bother talking to you any—Douglas, what are these?

DOUGLAS: What are what?

CAROLYN: [rustling sounds] These!

DOUGLAS: Nothing.

CAROLYN: Don’t you _nothing_ me. Why is my flight deck full of flowers?

DOUGLAS: The spirit of summer! Floral décor is very in right now.

CAROLYN: No.

DOUGLAS: Sorry, which kind of ‘no’ was that?

CAROLYN: No, you are not allowed to fill the flight deck with roses.

DOUGLAS: Oh, really? How about lilies?

CAROLYN: Shut up and get rid of them. I am not in the mood.

DOUGLAS: Thankfully, they’re not actually for you.

CAROLYN: I don’t care who they’re for. You’re not allowed to smuggle flowers with my plane.

DOUGLAS: If I were smuggling, what could induce you to allow me to keep them?

CAROLYN: Fifty per cent of the profit, and if you get caught I get to fire you.

DOUGLAS: Very well. I give you my word that, were I to smuggle these flowers, you would receive half of the profit.

CAROLYN: Good. Now, I’m going for coffee in the airfield base room, Arthur is going to go into Fitton and buy some more milk for the flight, Douglas is going to file the flight plan.

DOUGLAS: How optimistic.

CAROLYN: Douglas is going to file the flight plan, or he’s fired.

DOUGLAS: But—

CAROLYN: No buts just do it that’s the end goodbye. [flight deck door opens and shuts]

ARTHUR: Oh yeah, Douglas, I forgot to tell you – storm warning.

DOUGLAS: I think I've gathered that, thanks, Arthur. What on earth has happened to her?

ARTHUR: Herc proposed again and she said maybe!

DOUGLAS: _Well._

ARTHUR: Although come to think of it, that was a secret.

DOUGLAS: No need to worry, Arthur. I won’t tell. Scout’s honor.

ARTHUR: Brilliant! Thanks, Douglas.

DOUGLAS: I hope Martin takes it better.

ARTHUR: What?

DOUGLAS: Oh, nothing. Weren't you supposed to be buying milk?

ARTHUR: Oh right! Yes! I forgot. See you in a bit, Douglas!

[flight deck door opens and closes]

DOUGLAS: [exhales loudly]

[sound of approaching car; door to flight deck opens]

MARTIN: Good morning, Douglas!

DOUGLAS: My captain! May I just say, you’re looking resplendent this morning.

MARTIN: [surprised] M-m-more so than usual?

DOUGLAS: Well, I think so. A little more resplendent today than you were yesterday, although perhaps a little less adorable. Are you looking forward to the flight?

MARTIN: [flight deck door closes] I always look forward to - _Douglas!_

DOUGLAS: [amused] Oh, I'm flattered.

MARTIN: Not funny. Douglas, after last time we agreed that you were going to stop smuggling!

DOUGLAS: Yes, we did.

MARTIN: So we need to get rid of these! Carolyn is going to have a fit.

DOUGLAS: She already did.

MARTIN: We can leave them with Karl in the tower, pick them up when we get back from the flight, and bring them back to wherever it is you got them from.

DOUGLAS: Martin.

MARTIN: No, Douglas! I love you, but I will not allow you to break the law and jeopardize our flight by smuggling! It's not like you need the money, anyway - 

DOUGLAS: Martin! You're not listening to me. Despite my many faults, I would absolutely never continue to smuggle if it caused you distress.

MARTIN: Good, then we can get rid of - 

DOUGLAS: _Ergo_ , I am not smuggling these flowers.

MARTIN: What? Then why on earth are there roses all over the flight deck?

DOUGLAS: Atmospheric preparation.

MARTIN: For what?

DOUGLAS: Well, I thought that the flower-filled flight deck might remind you of our flight to Helsinki.

MARTIN: Oh god.

DOUGLAS: Well, I agree it might not have been the most pleasant trip you've ever gone on. However, it did serve one good purpose - it was the flight on which I first fell in love with you.

MARTIN: O-oh. Really? But that was ages ago! I thought I was the only one pining for years - hey, hang on a minute. You were married at that time!

DOUGLAS: And thus I waited, and behaved very honorably towards Helena. More than she did towards me. But Martin, the roses serve another purpose.

MARTIN: Oh?

DOUGLAS: Yes. If you'll remember, on our Helsinki flight, the sight of the flower-filled flight deck appeared to suggest romance and affection to you. Therefore, I thought it might be suitable for -

MARTIN: . . . Douglas? Are you alright?

DOUGLAS: You know, I've done this three times, no problem. Trust you to be difficult. I'm nervous.

MARTIN: Nervous about what? Douglas, what's going on?

DOUGLAS: Martin, you know that I love you very much. Even if I tease. And I just - you know, I thought that maybe - you -

MARTIN: Ohhhhhhhhh!

DOUGLAS: Yes, 'oh'. Sod it. I can do this.

MARTIN: Douglas, I -

DOUGLAS: Hush and listen. You may be the Captain, but I'm piloting this flight, and as such it is my very nervous pleasure to ask you - Martin Crieff, I love you. Would you do me the honor of marrying me?

MARTIN: [squeak] You want to marry me?

DOUGLAS: Certainly I do. I have for months, I was just afraid of scaring you off.

MARTIN: Me?

DOUGLAS: [increasingly nervous] That's the idea, yes.

MARTIN: [triumphantly] Yessss!

DOUGLAS: Yes? 

MARTIN: [clears throat] Ahem. As your Captain, Douglas, I am proud and pleased to consent. I will certainly marry you.

DOUGLAS: [roughly, jubilant] Oh, thank goodness! [pounces]

MARTIN: [flustered] Mmm. . . Douglas, hang on, have you filed the flight plan?

DOUGLAS: Oh, who cares about the flight plan! I have never been happier in my life, and I am damned if I'm not going to celebrate my engagement with my new fiance. [snuggly noises]

ARTHUR: HOORAY!!!

DOUGLAS: [very startled] _Arthur!!!_

ARTHUR: This - is - BRILLIANT!!!

DOUGLAS: I thought you went to buy milk!

ARTHUR: I did! But I got back early! And I wanted to see whether you were finally going to propose! Because I thought you were, what with the earliness and the roses and everything. And then you did!

MARTIN: Hang on, hang on, hang on - we didn't TELL anyone about our relationship!

ARTHUR: Well, no offence, Skip, but it was kind of obvious. Because for a while there were those times that you'd come over and drink tea with me and tell me that you loved someone but he was too fabulous and not interested -

MARTIN: [deeply mortified] That was ONE TIME! And I was drunk!

ARTHUR: -but then you started looking really happy and you and Douglas kept looking at eachother lots and not telling me what your word games were about and volunteering to stay behind and do the hoovering -

MARTIN: [spluttering]

ARTHUR: And basically according to the course on understanding people in Ipswich, you were very madly in love and in a relationship! And now you're going to get married, and it's BRILLIANT!

MARTIN: [spluttering]

DOUGLAS: [smoothly] Arthur, perhaps you could go break the news to Carolyn. Martin, should we file that flight plan?

MARTIN: I knew you hadn't done it. Where are we going, anyway?

DOUGLAS: Mont Saint Michel.

MARTIN: Passengers or cargo?

DOUGLAS: Neither, actually. And we're not taking Carolyn or Arthur. I took a leaf out of Arthur's book.

MARTIN: Douglas, what -

DOUGLAS: We're going on holiday. I chartered G-ERTI under a pseudonym to fly out today and come back the day after tomorrow. It's my engagement present.

MARTIN: I - thank you, Douglas.

DOUGLAS: [smugly] All in a day's work for a First Officer.

MARTIN: Alright. Well, since this holiday's a present to me, you can file the flight plan.

DOUGLAS: You're lucky I love you.

MARTIN: [pleased, proud] I am, aren't I.

DOUGLAS: Flight plan completed, Captain.

MARTIN: In that case. . . _let's fly some plane!_

*

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! As always, comments/kudos/constructive criticism/any thoughts at all are very much welcomed.  
> Disclaimer: unfortunately, I don't own Cabin Pressure, nor do I profit from my scribblings.


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